How to have a great life: advice from 3000 years ago

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Aristotle, in his book “Ethics” said that there are three kinds of friendships:

Utility friendships. These are the friendly relationships that involve an exchange of value. Coworkers, and business relationships fall under this heading. Having happy relationships with people we do business with is pretty important and makes life pleasant. They’re nice but shorter term. When the business concludes, the relationship cools and everyone moves on. Nothing wrong with that.

Pleasure friendships: These are great too and include people you share a hobby with, enjoy going out for dinner with, or who share your interests. Friends like these make life a joy. Great to have them. However, they’re a bit less stable too. When your interests change, when you move to a new area, or marry a new person, they may fall away.

The third category is different. This category Aristotle calls “virtue friendships.” These are people who challenge you to be a better person. You share deeply held values with them. And you have a commitment to each other. We don’t find many of these and they tend to be longer lasting and more stable relationships. Building a friendship like this requires:

honesty

acceptance

selflessness

time and effort

the willingness to know and be known on a deep level

Aristotle believed that having this third type of friend was key to leading a flourishing/blessed life.

Take a minute now to categorize your friendships. Who are your utility friends? Your pleasure friends?

Do you have any virtue friends?

If not, are you willing/interested in building a friendship like that?

My own work goal has always been to help people get to a new level professionally and personally. And if you believe Aristotle (his teacher was Plato, and his student was Alexander the Great; not a bad resume) this is a key component to getting there.

Getting ahead is about getting started,

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Written by Trevor Throness
Trevor is a veteran coach, keynote speaker, and the author of the book “The Power of People Skills” released by Career Press NY in 2017. He’s also written for or been featured in places like Forbes, Inc, The NY Post, The Globe and Mail, Entrepreneur, CEO Magazine, and numerous podcasts and interviews.

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