When Billy has a problem with Susie AND with Bobby AND with Janie…

This week I was approached by a guy who I hadn’t seen in years.   He immediately cornered me and told me his tale of woe.  Everyone had let him down in life.  All bad for the last 25 years.

His kids are terrible and he doesn’t approve of their adult choices.

All the people in his church are hypocrites so he had to quit.  (everyone’s a hypocrite by the way; do you always act according to what you say you believe?  I don’t)

His friends don’t get him and are just bad people so he had to drop them.

His work is awful and his industry is skidding downhill.

He went on and on and on.  After about four minutes I was desperate to extricate myself from this monologue and we were now at minute eleven, but I couldn’t think of a plausible reason to leave.  Then my wife showed up and I thought I’d let her take a turn for a few minutes, so I was able to get away.  She owed me one,  I told myself.  Hey, I already told you I’m a hypocrite!

But very quickly I knew something about this guy that he didn’t know.  It’s a principle that you can remember too:

When Billy has a problem with Susie AND Bobby AND Janie… THE PROBLEM IS BILLY!

Because, a person’s view of the world is a confession of their character.

If no one can be trusted, they aren’t trustworthy.

I everyone’s a hypocrite, they’re a hypocrite.

If they have no friends, they’re a bad friend to others.

If all people do is cheat and lie, they’re cheaters and liars.

And so on.

So if this is you, have a look inside and say, “What do I own about these negative situations?  What part have I played in the circumstances in my life that I don’t like?”

Every other question you ask yourself leads to misdiagnosis and wrong conclusions.

The mature person asks, “How can I change?”

The immature person says, “It’s everybody else’s fault!”

Getting ahead is about getting started!

Trevor head shot in office 1

Trevor Throness is a speaker, consultant, and author of “The Power of People Skills.”  He is also co-founder and senior instructor at professionalleadershipinstitute.com https://professionalleadershipinstitute.com/

Find more about “The Power of People Skills” here: https://www.amazon.com/Power-People-Skills-Dramatically-Performance/dp/1632651068

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2 thoughts on “When Billy has a problem with Susie AND with Bobby AND with Janie…”

  1. Great post and another great reason for DISC in our lives. After many years of understanding myself and holding the highest thought ( which wasn’t easy at the beginning) I was able to turn inward and challenge myself in all of life’s interactions. Some of the questions I ask myself.
    1. What do I know for sure (when I feel my narrative pull at me in a situation)
    2. What steps can I do to help?
    3. What % do I own in the situation
    (We all own 100% of our 50% in every interaction)
    Without these pause moments in my life the narrative can slip (and it can be fast!) Into “everyone else is the problem”!
    As always trevor, great moments that I look forward to on Monday mornings 🙂

  2. This is UNREAL how true this is for me. I find it incredibly demoralizing to be around Billy’s. There are enough people in this region who aren’t blamers, “woe is me”, and complainers. It has been life-changing to spend time with people who have positivity and who “Own it!”.

    One of our family core pillars (for Shania and I) is “Choose Joy”. It can be a choice in a day, a month, or even a moment; especially if you have an eternal hope/joy to give you that perspective !

    Love it PLI !

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