3 Ways To Make People Like You

Sign Up For Weekly Tips! Get Trevor’s Weekly Tips Straight To Your Inbox!

I get a lot of feedback from my tips, and appreciate and respond to each email personally.  A friend (thanks Bill!) dropped me a note recently to remind me of one of the best-selling business books of all time, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie.  Published in 1936, it has sold more than 15 million copies, and spawned a self-help empire.  In 2011, Time put it #19 on it’s 100 most influential books list.  If you haven’t read it, do so.

While it’s always a mistake to seek to be liked, being likable is important, and should be a goal of every leader.

So, here are some of  Carnegie’s  steps to make yourself likable.  The steps are his, the comments are mine:

  1. Smile:
    It was my job recently to tell a guy that he needed to smile more because he intimidated people.  To prove my point, I took him in front of a mirror, and asked him to strike his characteristic pose; unsmiling, arms crossed.  Then I asked him what a stranger would conclude from his expression.  He didn’t have to answer because he actually scared himself! Most of us have RBF (resting b**** face).  Stand in front of a mirror, relax your face, and tell me I’m wrong. Smile!
  2. Encourage others to talk about themselves
    In my job I do a lot of listening, and I find that the best feedback I receive on my conversational skills are when I say almost nothing.  I just ask questions, let the other person talk, and lap up the accolades that I so richly deserve (!) when our conversation is done.People don’t care much about listening to others.  They want to talk; they want to be heard.   Give them that opportunity.  Ask more and more questions.  Show genuine interest.  This is one of the most important gifts you can give to another person.Let them talk about their interests, not about yours.  Let them know that you care about what they’re saying.  They’ll be stunned at what a great conversationalist you are.
  3. Make the other person feel important
    I’m not talking about false flattery.  I am talking about being interested enough to find out what that person contributes to the world, showing interest in it, and letting them know that their contribution is an important one.I don’t believe that the CEO is more important than the forklift operator.  Without the much-maligned car salesman, the CEO of GM would have zero power.  Without the person running the backhoe, the developer would have nothing to sell.Everyone plays an important role, and you can help everyone see that.  If you can show them that they’re important, they’ll be eternally grateful to you.Those are just 3 simple Carnegie principles.  Use them this week to make a difference in your relationships.  And… read the book!
Recommended Resources:

Uncover your strengths and weaknesses with our complimentary assessment. Boost your effectiveness at work and with your team.

Free Resource Library: Access our extensive collection of valuable resources for instant support in your personal and professional growth.

Explore Our Course Library:

Enhance your leadership skills with our diverse selection of courses. Take your abilities to the next level and become a more effective leader and team player.
Written by Trevor Throness
Trevor is a veteran coach, keynote speaker, and the author of the book “The Power of People Skills” released by Career Press NY in 2017. He’s also written for or been featured in places like Forbes, Inc, The NY Post, The Globe and Mail, Entrepreneur, CEO Magazine, and numerous podcasts and interviews.


Our Clients Love the Professional Leadership Institute

Your team will, too! Check out some reviews from our students.
The PLI program was invaluable to our network.
The range of topics delivered, the open dialogue, experience, and examples that PLI brought to each session were outstanding and provided a path for our Franchisees and Managers to look at leadership, coaching, and connecting with their teams in a new light. Many have implemented these strategies in their bakeries and have seen immediate results.
Michelle C.
COBS Bread
Highly recommend to help your team move forward
We have locations around BC and Alberta, so getting people on the same page can be very difficult... Until now. Our entire management team and location managers take the same great courses and then meet monthly online with our coach to apply it to our situation. People are engaged, the courses are excellent, we love our coach, and we are all learning together!
Jason Fawcett
President, Kelson Group
The result has been a transformation of our culture. 
We decided to implement PLI's strategies across the country in over 150 locations and over 3500 employees.  The result has been a transformation of our culture.  People's lives have been positively impacted - professionally and personally.  Morale is high and sales and profits are up as a result.
Daryl Verbeek
Daryl Verbeek
We’ve learned how to fix ongoing personnel issues once and for all
The roadmap laid out set our business up to quintuple in sales.  We've learned how to fix ongoing personnel issues once and for all, attract top talent, and spend our time focused on results, not internal staffing problems.  I highly recommend PLI to you - it's worked for us!
John DeJong
Satisfied Client
I had no idea that running a business could be this fun!
In less than 18 months of working with Trevor, he has transformed my business from being average to exceptional, where mediocrity is not acceptable, where being great is standard.  Working with PLI has allowed me to realize my dream of not simply owning a job, but owning a business.
Justin Bontkes
Principal, Caliber Projects
Our culture has taken major steps forward this year
Our culture has taken major steps forward this year with Trevor’s help.  He is funny, relatable, and his tools are very very practical and have helped us focus and upgrade our teams throughout our retail network. Trevor recently spoke to an employee group, and one person remarked, “I could listen to Trevor all day.”   We would highly recommend Trevor.
Stan Pridham
Founder, KMS Tools
The results have been remarkable
At first, we resisted, “This just won’t work with a law firm.” But we persisted and the results have been remarkable: our client base and profits have steadily improved, and staff engagement and morale is the healthiest its ever been.
Doug Lester
Partner, RDM Lawyers
Helped our fast-growing business become what it is today
I've experienced PLI's approach first hand and it's been crucial to sustaining our growth.  I can't imagine a business that wouldn't benefit greatly from his help.
Brian Antenbring
Founder, TEEMA
Provided practical ways to make positive changes
Trevor was incredibly well-received by the entire organization. He was able to articulate people issues that many of our franchisees were experiencing and provided them with practical ways to make positive changes. We have implemented the Star Chart tool across the organization and see it as vital to building happy, effective teams.
Aaron Gillespie
President, COBS Bread
Scroll to Top

Start Learning Today

For Individuals

Unlock your potential and accelerate your career with sought-after management and leadership skills.


Transform Your Organization

For Teams

Book a consultation to discuss your challenges and discover how we can help you build a winning team.


Sign Up For Weekly Tips!

Get Weekly Coaching Tips Straight To Your Inbox Every Monday.