My wife is a far better parent than me. Especially of little kids.
While I, in a fury, would clean their rooms before bed while they watched (now referred to in our family as rage cleaning) Jenn took a different approach.
She’d say,
Jenn: “Julia, what do we do first?”
Julia: “Put on pajamas?”
Jenn: “That’s right, so why not do that? Now, what do we do next?”
Julia: “Put away our stuffies?”
Jenn: “That’s right, so do that. Now what do we do?”
And so on until the room was cleaned. My way was faster, but no one learned anything except to stay out of my way while I’m rage cleaning.
The same is true for you when you interact with your direct reports at work. Lead with questions, not with answers.
When you lead with answers,
YOU OWN IT.
When you lead with questions,
THEY OWN IT.
So do you want to own everything? If you don’t, use the Jenn approach and next time someone comes to you for an answer, use questions like:
- What do you think is the right way to handle this?
- Which alternatives have you considered?
- What have you tried so far that hasn’t worked?
- What would you do if you had to make the decision on your own?
- What could be the negative outcomes/unintended consequences of your plan?
Get them thinking. Then they own it.
Coach them, stress test their answers and don’t let them cause a catastrophe, but develop their thinking.
That’s how to build a self managed team so you don’t have to own everything all the time.
Give it a try and see if it works,
