I sit with leaders most days, and there are times when I want to put my arm around a shoulder and say, “It’s actually not them, it’s you. Nobody likes you. Do you notice how they duck into the Hallmark store in the mall so they don’t have to talk to you?” If people actively dislike you, you’re not going to make it as their leader.
The principle is simple: if you want people to GO along with you, they have to also GET along with you.
Here’s a simple, foolproof method to make everyone like you. It’s not hard. Although it does involve thinking about someone other than yourself. All you do is:
SHOW GENUINE INTEREST IN THEM
Ask them:
What do they do outside of work?
What are they most interested in in life?
What’s on their mind lately?
What else is on their mind?
Then follow up with things like:
Tell me more about that.
I don’t know anything about that hobby, tell me what you like about it.
Just get curious and dig into what interests them. Listen intently. Ask more questions.
People are selfish, so when you approach them from the perspective of forgetting about yourself and focusing on adding value to their life, they’ll respond well. Listening intently is a very rare gift to give someone. When’s the last time you were really listened to?
You won’t say a word about yourself and the other person will leave saying, “What a great conversationalist that person is. I like them!”
Give it a try, you’ll see that it works. Being liked isn’t everything, but being disliked is a leadership killer.
Getting ahead is about getting started.
