I once attended a veterinary conference that I was also speaking at. One of the speakers was a practicing veterinarian who gave this advice:
If you want to be viewed as an incompetent, say this to the pet owner:
“I’m sorry but we’ve given Fifi every kind of medicine and treatment we have and she’s still not getting better. You should probably prepare for the worst.”
If you want to be a hero in exactly the same scenario, start with this instead:
“I’m very concerned about Fifi.”
Instantly you go from being the incompetent to being a caring medical professional.
How does this apply to you?
To a customer: “I’m very concerned about your shipment arrival time…”
To a parent of a struggling student: “I’m very concerned about little Billy in math class”
To an underperforming team member: “I’m very concerned about you and your role right now”
Concern shows care. There’s no anger involved, just a sincere wish for the concerns to be addressed for everyone’s good.
Next time you have any bad news to deliver, start with, “I feel concerned…” and see better results.
Getting ahead is about getting started.