How To Stop Your Emotions From Ruling Your Life

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A lot of my time has been spent being a dad.

My wife and I have four kids, and our youngest recently moved out to attend a college in Europe.

After dropping him off at the airport, we came home to a pretty empty, pretty quiet house.

Now, most of my adult life has been spent with kids hanging off my legs and someone vomiting or smashing something downstairs with yet another bellering for a ride to some activity or other.  In short, it’s been busy and also fun.

So, there are days when I get up and sit in my perfectly quiet office with nothing out of place from the day before and feel… a bit sorry for myself to be perfectly honest.  Maybe even more than  a bit.  It shames me to say because I always tell myself I’m not that guy.  But apparently I am 🙂

I think, “shoot I should have been cultivating a gambling addiction, or been off robbing banks, or doing something else to consume my mind and time.”

Then one morning I was reading my Bible and out of the blue (!) this thought came to me:

Trevor, whenever you feel bad, you’re focused on yourself

This is simply true every time.  I’ll bet it’s true for you too.  Inevitably I’m sitting down (inactive) looking inward instead of looking at how I can help someone else.

The moment I look outside myself I start to feel better.

I believe that we were built, not only to be in right relationship with everyone around us, but also to contribute to their lives.  When we’re doing that, we feel better.

Are you struggling with mental health?

I don’t claim to have all the answers, but I know for certain that sitting alone thinking about yourself only makes it worse.  If you aren’t depressed now, change into your pajamas, stay home from work, turn on the TV and think about how terrible you feel, and soon you’ll be well on your way.

Motivation comes from taking action

Are you overwhelmed by your emotions today?  We all need to realize that feeling better involves us taking action (talking to myself here).

So, look around you and ask, “who needs my help?”  Help them.  Who’s feeling low?  Encourage them!  How can I add value to someone else’s life?  Do so!

When you do that, you’ll be headed in the right direction.

Getting ahead IS about getting started!

Trevor head shot in office

Trevor Throness is a speaker, consultant, and author of “The Power of People Skills.”  He is also co-founder and senior instructor at

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Written by Trevor Throness
Trevor is a veteran coach, keynote speaker, and the author of the book “The Power of People Skills” released by Career Press NY in 2017. He’s also written for or been featured in places like Forbes, Inc, The NY Post, The Globe and Mail, Entrepreneur, CEO Magazine, and numerous podcasts and interviews.


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