If there are people in your life that treat you in ways that you don’t like, consider that they do it because it works.
The colleague who blows up (or cries) when confronted often does so because they’ve found that it’s a great strategy that means that they don’t get confronted that often.
They way to change that behaviour is to make it not work anymore:
“I can see that this conversation is making you mad. I’m going to leave you alone in this room for a few minutes so that you can collect your thoughts and then we’ll get to the bottom of the issue.”
If you get treated in a way that you don’t like, it’s your responsibility to make that behaviour not work anymore. No one needs to be a victim.