Social Media and the Mystery Identity of the Snowman Assassin Revealed

I have to start today’s tip with a HUGE scoop that you probably haven’t about yet heard in the news.

YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook are joining together in the mega-merger of the century.  The new entity is to be called:*


Kind of how I feel about social media.

Okay, full confession:  I don’t like it very much.

I don’t like scrolling through facebook, Instagram, and all the other usual suspects.

Responding to everyone’s posted minutiae feels like a new part time job.

What do I care what kind of muffin you had for breakfast?  Or that I knew you 15 years ago, and you just went to the park with your kids in North Carolina?  I mean good for you, but I’ve got a job and actual friends and family that need attention too!

Having said that, this year I hired an excellent young digital marketer (thanks Vikram!) who has taught me some things about having an online presence.

It’s important.  Even if you don’t have a million followers and aren’t ever going to be ‘an influencer.’

I think of an online presence like a brick and mortar store front.  What the front of the store looks like matters to all the people who drive by the store every day. And, one day they may need what I sell.  When they do, I want them to think of me first.  Even if I don’t have a business, people will get to know me based on what I post.

So here are some of the rules I’ve learned:

SOCIAL MEDIA RULE 1:  Is the online you someone who you would like to spend time with?

Here’s who I don’t want to spend time with:

  • Someone who constantly humble-brags about themselves. As in, “I’m soooo humbled to have been chosen for the 5th time as best person ever in my industry.”

Okay, good for you that you won an award.  But be honest, you’re not humbled.  You’re proud of yourself, and in this moment, Lucifer couldn’t hold a candle to you.  Just state your achievement.  It’s good for us to know you’re good at what you do.  But don’t tell us every time you post.

  • People who are negative, cutting, or mean spirited

When I see someone on social media willing to post a snot-a-gram or have a public fight with someone else, they’ve just self-selected as someone I want to avoid.  I’m not looking for cynicism, sarcasm, or mean remarks.

My subdivision has a renowned facebook page where people take it in turns to post something even MORE cutting and mean to their neighbors than the last person did.

Some of the posts stagger the imagination.

Like when one of my elementary age kids was labelled a ‘snowman assassin’ once (YES, IT WAS OUR FAMILY, BAHAHAHA!!) and another time a lady was told to ‘slither off her throne’ because she had a question about recycling.  It’s actually quite hilarious and I do get a twisted kind of kick out of it.

Suggestion: If you wouldn’t say it to their face in public, don’t do it online either.

Only chickens throw grenades from the safety of their caves.

Rule 2: Always add value to someone’s life

That’s who I like.  People on social media who have taken the time to help me with something.

I have my online sources that I go to again and again.  Because they help me and build into my life, even though I’ve never met most of them.

They give me political and spiritual advice, teach me how to play guitar, entertain me with their amazing skills, and even show me how to fix my broken dishwasher.

I owe some of these folks a huge debt.  So, I’m always happy to see what they’ve posted.  Aren’t you?

I forget who it was who said, “If you help enough people get what they want, they’ll help you get what you want.”

Rule 3: Be a lifter, not a leaner

Leaners bring people down.

Lifters bring them up and make them feel better about themselves and their lives.

I try to remember that everyone.  Everyone.  Is fighting a battle somewhere.

The people that ‘have it all together’ are fighting a battle that you don’t know about.  Battles include:

  • Health problems
  • Money problems
  • Mental health challenges
  • Impossible relationship street fights that they don’t know how to fix
  • Problems with kids, parents, siblings, and friends
  • Grief and loss
  • Loneliness

And on and on.

Our words matter so much.  Words build cities and start wars.  They cause people to grow and flourish, and they also cause despair and hopelessness.

A kind and encouraging word on social media can mean the difference between life and death.

That to say, encourage people with your online presence and they’ll want to read about you more and more.

As Viktor Frankl said in “Man’s Search for Meaning,” the greatest need of any human being is to know that their lives have meaning.  That what they do matters.

So, build your online presence.  And be a person online that you would like to count as a friend.


Getting ahead is about getting started,


*This is a joke.  DO NOT INVEST IN stock.

Trevor head shot in office 1

Trevor Throness is a speaker, consultant, and author of “The Power of People Skills.”  He is also co-founder and senior instructor at

Find more about “The Power of People Skills” here:


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    6 thoughts on “Social Media and the Mystery Identity of the Snowman Assassin Revealed”

    1. Hi Trevor my name is Eva Rodriguez; nice to meet you. 🙂
      I stumbled on your site this morning and know I was definitely meant to discover what you do!
      I am transitioning from one small business to another business/venture (or adventure) and the new business is a whole different animal (I’m leaving a casual business setting to a more structured business world ugh; haha). I really needed to read this social media piece; I couldn’t agree with you more (I hate it but know it’s vital to my business to post and promote my business on-line; especially with Covid still in the picture). I have SO much to learn; I am both eager to soak up and learn everything I can but at the same time a bit overwhelmed (but always have moments of awareness that what I’m doing is fun and awesome and I have faith that I’m heading in the right direction). Where others see failure I see opportunities to learn and grow. Anyway; thank you for sharing your experiences and wisdom freely (as for the courses; once that business loan comes through I shall take another look at what you offer).
      Gratefully, Eva
      Redhook Dreams Sunflower Seed Butter
      Instagram: @redhookdreams_sunflowerseedbtr
      Business I’m leaving: @petsitting_by_eva & @theketopetsitter

    2. Hey Trevor,

      I think the quote ““If you help enough people get what they want, they’ll help you get what you want” comes from Zig Ziglar, though if not originally, I know that he mentions it a lot. Have a great week!

    3. Love all this tip, as always. When are you going to come out with a controversial tip again to get everyone all riled up and question your sanity? 😉 Haha

      One thing I learned at a young age (so basically yesterday), is that you MUST put some soul-searching and Mentor-asking thought into which Social Media Platform is BEST used and BEST aligned to your business. It’s probably 1, maybe 2. Many small/medium businesses can do very well to just laser-focus on their best-aligned platform(s), rather than have a half-following and half-impact on all of them.

      I just recently updated our business Insta page to basically say “Hey, we’re not here, we’re over on LinkedIn, where it makes more sense for our business to be (insert hyperlink). See ya over there!”

      And also, (imo)….
      Photos are the new words.
      Videos are the new photos.
      Drone videos are the new videos.

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