The Truth About Life Change

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I’ve read Tony Robbins’ books, and my wife and I even went to one of his 2-day seminars back in the day.  He gave some good, practical advice which I thought was useful.  He did some things that I thought were weird and maybe creepy (pressuring people into disclosing very personal things to a group of thousands basically without consent).  And there was a ton of energy and hype in the room.

The day started with pounding music and lights and dancers on stage, and ended with a huge conga line (which I resolutely avoided; I’m very stubborn, have no rhythm and my feet are stones).

And during the event, there were huge promises made.  People were going to “Awaken The Giant Within” (call me a cynic, but my mind immediately shot to Stalin and Pol Pot) and unleash potential that would make them:

  • Gorgeous
  • Amazing
  • Rich
  • Desired
  • Filled with meaning
  • Orgasmically happy at all times

But studies show that not a lot of new millionaires emerge from these events.

So why do so few achieve these promised results when they read a self-help book or click on the latest ‘secret’ that will finally be the catalyst for permanent change?

Since I do this for a living, I want to share two observations:

  1. Life is messy. Get used to it.
    If you start something and then give up, and then retry and then feel depressed about having given up twice, and then see some real progress in another area and wonder about your life choices and then feel real joy in unexpected moments, THAT MEANS YOU’RE A NORMAL HUMAN!There’s richness in that journey.  That includes your pain and your failure as well as your wins.  Embrace each step, and be thankful that you’re above ground and able to experience it.
  1. Real change is hard, takes work, and happens in small increments.
    I constantly think of the 1% solution.  This means that you just have to get 1% better.  You can do that, right?  Here are some examples: 
  • Drink a glass of water every morning instead of coffee or tea
  • Call one prospect each day. Or each week.
  • Do one nice thing for your spouse every day. Set a reminder on your phone
  • Put away $100/month into an emergency fund or investment for your future
  • Notice one thing that ‘needs to change around here’ and be the person who does it. Empty the garbage.   Clean the work station

If you got 1% better every day in any area, in 3 months you’d be twice as good as you are now.  If you got 1% better every week, in a year and half, you’d be twice as good as you are today.

There are no short cuts.  But anyone can implement the 1% solution.

Having said that, Jenn and I had a fantastic two days at the event.  We stayed in a hotel overnight.  We had some nice meals together.  We talked meaningfully about where we were at in marriage and life.  We laughed at some of the goofy things we saw and were agape at how bonkers some of the people went.  In short, we thoroughly enjoyed being human together.

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Written by Trevor Throness
Trevor is a veteran coach, keynote speaker, and the author of the book “The Power of People Skills” released by Career Press NY in 2017. He’s also written for or been featured in places like Forbes, Inc, The NY Post, The Globe and Mail, Entrepreneur, CEO Magazine, and numerous podcasts and interviews.


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