You have an important conversation looming.
It’s one you’d rather avoid, but the time has come, and you need to have a serious sit down.
Since one of the main rules of human behaviour is:
PEOPLE ARE SELFISH
I.e. they think about their own interests first. I do, you do, they do. It’s human nature. They’re wondering how this talk is going to benefit or hurt them. With this in mind, you need to
ADDRESS THEIR NEEDS FIRST
And what are their needs? Here are the questions that are foremost on their minds that you need to address:
Does this person care about me? Or is it just about numbers and production? Am I a pawn to them, or do they really have my best interests at heart? Unless they believe you care, you’re not going to make the progress you’re hoping to make in this interaction.
Is this person competent? Or are they just a title? An empty suit? Have they proven to me that they’re good at their job and that they have the best interests of the organization at heart? Do they actually have the ability to help me?
Can I trust them? Is this really about their ego, no about my performance? Are they consistent and honest? Do they keep confidences and pitch in and help where needed? Do they gossip? Are they trustworthy and credible?
These are the questions that are on their minds.
Tell them in words that you care about them and that a loss for them is a loss for you too. You want them to win and that’s why you’re addressing this issue.
If you haven’t built trust with them, do that before engaging in the conversation. People buy in to you personally before they buy in to your plans and goals.
And always address their needs first. General George Marshall (who rebuilt Europe after world war II) said that his recipe for success with people was simple:
- Listen to the other person’s story
- Listen to the other person’s full story
- Listen to the other person’s full story first
Getting ahead is about getting started.
