Workplace Romance

Sign Up For Weekly Tips! Get Trevor’s Weekly Tips Straight To Your Inbox!

Ok fine, you met your spouse at work and it worked out beautifully and now you have three kids and it’s all been amazing. While I’m happy for you, you’re in the minority on this issue. Full disclosure: my wife worked at my workplace while we were dating and I was in a more senior position. I was young and stupid and didn’t even think about the risk, and I might add that it turned out wonderfully. The exception that proves the rule.

However, having seen this more than a few times, it usually ends badly.

Here’s why I recommend you find your romantic partners somewhere other than where you work.

Power imbalance

If you are in a senior position the question of consent always arises. Could your junior actually resist your romantic advances? Did they feel that their advancement could be hampered (or advanced) by reciprocating?

Maybe the relationship started out beautifully, and there was no question that it was fully consensual, but if/when it ends, this becomes an immediate concern. Is your junior now in the doghouse? And if not, do others perceive that they are? What if they’re hurt and/or vindictive? You can see how this gets complicated very quickly.

Perception

As soon as you’re in a romantic relationship at work, everyone around you perceives that you’ve lost your judgment about decisions that effect your partner. They assume your heart sparkle will receive preferential treatment, whether they actually do or not. Which, let’s be honest, they usually do.

Credibility

Whatever you think, and despite congratulations from your co-workers, you immediately lose credibility as a leader when you start dating someone at work. You’re viewed as someone with less than fantastic judgment, and your fairness is immediately suspect.

Like the restaurant manager who started dating someone in the kitchen who miraculously started getting weekends off and enjoyed other perks that no one else did. Her detractors now had legitimate cause to complain to senior leaders, which they did. That manager gave herself a mortal credibility wound that she never recovered from.

Why put a sword in the hand of your enemies?

It’s hard enough to build a business without doing stupid stuff and generating self-inflicted wounds. So, do your very best to leave romance out of your job description.

Just my two cents. Let me know if you disagree!

Recommended Resources:
 

Uncover your strengths and weaknesses with our complimentary assessment. Boost your effectiveness at work and with your team.

Free Resource Library: Access our extensive collection of valuable resources for instant support in your personal and professional growth.

Explore Our Course Library:

Enhance your leadership skills with our diverse selection of courses. Take your abilities to the next level and become a more effective leader and team player.
Written by Trevor Throness
Trevor is a veteran coach, keynote speaker, and the author of the book “The Power of People Skills” released by Career Press NY in 2017. He’s also written for or been featured in places like Forbes, Inc, The NY Post, The Globe and Mail, Entrepreneur, CEO Magazine, and numerous podcasts and interviews.

Testimonials

Our Clients Love the Professional Leadership Institute

Your team will, too! Check out some reviews from our students.
The PLI program was invaluable to our network.
The range of topics delivered, the open dialogue, experience, and examples that PLI brought to each session were outstanding and provided a path for our Franchisees and Managers to look at leadership, coaching, and connecting with their teams in a new light. Many have implemented these strategies in their bakeries and have seen immediate results.
Michelle C.
COBS Bread
Highly recommend to help your team move forward
We have locations around BC and Alberta, so getting people on the same page can be very difficult... Until now. Our entire management team and location managers take the same great courses and then meet monthly online with our coach to apply it to our situation. People are engaged, the courses are excellent, we love our coach, and we are all learning together!
Jason Fawcett
President, Kelson Group
The result has been a transformation of our culture. 
We decided to implement PLI's strategies across the country in over 150 locations and over 3500 employees.  The result has been a transformation of our culture.  People's lives have been positively impacted - professionally and personally.  Morale is high and sales and profits are up as a result.
Daryl Verbeek
Daryl Verbeek
We’ve learned how to fix ongoing personnel issues once and for all
The roadmap laid out set our business up to quintuple in sales.  We've learned how to fix ongoing personnel issues once and for all, attract top talent, and spend our time focused on results, not internal staffing problems.  I highly recommend PLI to you - it's worked for us!
John DeJong
Satisfied Client
I had no idea that running a business could be this fun!
In less than 18 months of working with Trevor, he has transformed my business from being average to exceptional, where mediocrity is not acceptable, where being great is standard.  Working with PLI has allowed me to realize my dream of not simply owning a job, but owning a business.
Justin Bontkes
Principal, Caliber Projects
Our culture has taken major steps forward this year
Our culture has taken major steps forward this year with Trevor’s help.  He is funny, relatable, and his tools are very very practical and have helped us focus and upgrade our teams throughout our retail network. Trevor recently spoke to an employee group, and one person remarked, “I could listen to Trevor all day.”   We would highly recommend Trevor.
Stan Pridham
Founder, KMS Tools
The results have been remarkable
At first, we resisted, “This just won’t work with a law firm.” But we persisted and the results have been remarkable: our client base and profits have steadily improved, and staff engagement and morale is the healthiest its ever been.
Doug Lester
Partner, RDM Lawyers
Helped our fast-growing business become what it is today
I've experienced PLI's approach first hand and it's been crucial to sustaining our growth.  I can't imagine a business that wouldn't benefit greatly from his help.
Brian Antenbring
Founder, TEEMA
Provided practical ways to make positive changes
Trevor was incredibly well-received by the entire organization. He was able to articulate people issues that many of our franchisees were experiencing and provided them with practical ways to make positive changes. We have implemented the Star Chart tool across the organization and see it as vital to building happy, effective teams.
Aaron Gillespie
President, COBS Bread
Scroll to Top

Start Learning Today

For Individuals

Unlock your potential and accelerate your career with sought-after management and leadership skills.

 

Transform Your Organization

For Teams

Book a consultation to discuss your challenges and discover how we can help you build a winning team.

 

Sign Up For Weekly Tips!

Get Weekly Coaching Tips Straight To Your Inbox Every Monday.