In my career I’ve worked for at least two tough bosses. One as a teenager who swore at me frequently and chewed me out using words that my cherubic ears had not yet heard, or at least hadn’t heard in those particular combinations.
I also worked for seven years for a boss who, in retrospect, I think it’s fair to say was a pretty committed narcissist. He couldn’t hold good people and was roundly hated by those who did stay. But jobs weren’t so easy to find 30 years ago and I couldn’t just quit and move on to something else.
During that time I learned a few tricks about how to survive, and even thrive working for a very difficult person. Here are some suggestions to help you work better with yours:
Keep your promises
Difficult bosses can’t help but like people who do what they say they’ll do. They know they need good people, and when they class you as one of them, they’re much more likely to treat you better.
Learn to manage your boss
I worked very closely with my narcissist for a couple of years, and I learned to work around his rhythms. For example, he couldn’t be reasoned with in the morning when he was under pressure and in overdrive but became much more pliable after 4:30 in the afternoon. I waited til then to talk things over with him.
A Dominant boss can be demanding and feel mean. Especially when under stress.
An Inspiring boss can forget promises and change direction on a dime.
A Supportive boss might avoid telling you the truth if it’s uncomfortable.
A Conscientious boss can have super-high expectations and be a micromanager when the pressure is on.
What’s your boss’s DISC type? Learn to manage up. Meet the needs of that person and they’ll think you’re amazing
Transfer somewhere else
Not always a possibility, but maybe you can work in another department and report to someone else. It’s worth a try.
Make your difficult boss shine
Ask yourself how you can make that person look good. How can you give them credit? How can you make them shine in front of the people they report to whether that’s another boss above them or a customer. They’ll like people who make them look better.
Work harder than you currently are
I worked on a farm as a teenager, and my demanding boss had a pretty violent temper. I learned to anticipate his needs, give my job my all, and obey his orders to the letter. After three seasons, he learned to trust me and became someone who I looked up to and who made me a better worker. And as I learned the job, he (mostly) stopped chewing me out.
And one thing not to do
Don’t confront your bad boss about his/her behavior. This is a potential career ender. They may hear you out, but chances are they’ll mark you as someone they don’t want on the team in the future.
You can’t change them, but you can change you. Try your very best and see if you can make things better. Maybe you find them tough because they’re challenging you to find a new gear? At least it’s worth considering.
Getting ahead is about getting started.
