6 Proven Tips for Living a Life Without Regret

‘I live life with no regrets’, is a catch-phrase that many of us use, but very few of us actually live by. Think about it for a moment. Is there truly nothing in your life that you have done or said that you regret? If you’re being honest, I’m sure there is something that if you could do over, you would. Living a life with no regret sounds like a nice philosophy to live by, but it’s not an easy one. It isn’t about throwing away past regrets or pretending they didn’t happen, it’s about working through them in a constructive way.

Key Takeaways

  • Regret is a feeling of distress over a decision or action you made in the past.
  • Remorse is a deep regret or guilt for the past decision or action you made.
  • We often regret or feel remorse for past decisions or actions because they have had a negative effect on our lives or the lives of others.
  • The guilt and self-resentment that are brought about through regret and remorse can lead down a self-destructive path.
  • You can learn to live a life without regret through self-acceptance, letting go of the past, learning from the lessons, expressing your emotions, focusing on what you can control, and trying new activities.

What is regret?

Regret is a feeling of distress about a decision or action that you made in the past. It could even be regret about words spoken or written. Many regrets are about the path not taken. These regrets leave us with questions about what could have been. Then, there are regrets that have immediate negative results. It could be as simple as regretting what you ordered for lunch, to as devastating as regretting the red-light you ran. In the former case, perhaps you didn’t enjoy the food, in the latter, you caused an accident that impacted others. Regrets come in many different ways. Depending on how deep the regret goes, whether it’s affected others, and how long you dwell on it, it may turn into remorse.

Regret vs. Remorse

Remorse is a deep regret or guilt for the past decision or action you made. This often happens when the decision or action has harmed others, either physically, mentally, or emotionally. In these cases, it’s hard to know what to do to rectify the situation, or how far to go to show your remorse. Making amends is often an important step, but so is knowing when to leave well alone. Letting go and giving others space is a hard decision to make. It means working through emotions on your own, but is sometimes the best decision for everyone involved. Be careful not to let yourself stay in a state of remorse for too long. Guilt and self-resentment can lead down a self-destructive path.

how to live a life with no regret

Why do we regret our past decisions or actions?

Usually, we regret a past decision or action because it has had a negative effect on our lives or the lives of others around us. We may also regret the decisions or actions of others, especially if they are close to us. Often this regret will relate back to a decision we made. You may regret a decision that your child made as a result of something you said. Regret can also show up at different times. In the case of a car accident, it’s pretty clear that this will have an immediate negative impact on everyone. For other situations, however, the regret may come later once the negative effects are realized. For example, six months later when you are laid off, you may regret not taking that new job offer. In these situations, we wonder and lament over the path not taken.

6 Proven Tips for Living a Life With No Regret

 

1. Self-acceptance

To live a life without regret, you need to accept the mistakes that you have made and then forgive yourself. Self-acceptance is about accepting the positive and negative aspects of yourself. It doesn’t mean that you can’t change, but rather allows you to be aware of past mistakes and future limitations.

2. Let go of the past

Living a life without regret is about living in the present, not the past. Past events shape us, and affect us, yes, but try not to dwell on them too long. Regretting a past event for an extended period of time leads to guilt. Letting go can sometimes be the hardest part. Grieving a loved one, for example, never feels long enough to honour their life. But spending too long in regret will become a regret of its own.

3. Learn from the lessons

If you want to have fewer regrets in the future, then learning from your mistakes is imperative. When you regret a decision or action, commit to making a different decision next time. Make concrete and achievable goals to ensure you stay accountable.

4. Get it out

It can be cathartic to release the negative emotions you have surrounding your regrets. Find the way(s) that work for you. It could be journaling, counseling, or chatting with a friend. Whatever it is, express the regret you are having. You may also find it helpful to discuss or write out what you are going to change as a result. This can help to keep you accountable.

5. Focus on what you can control

If you’re feeling down, try to focus on the things you can control. Focus on what you’ve learned and how you’ve changed since that past decision or action.

6. Mix it up

If you are spiralling down a tunnel of deep regret or remorse, try to distract yourself and pull yourself back into the present. Try a new activity, or learn a new skill. The achievement may help boost your self-confidence.

“There are no regrets in life, just lessons.” Jennifer Aniston

Recommended Resources:
 

Uncover your strengths and weaknesses with our complimentary assessment. Boost your effectiveness at work and with your team.

Free Resource Library
Access our extensive collection of valuable resources for instant support in your personal and professional growth.

Explore Our Course Library
Enhance your leadership skills with our diverse selection of courses. Take your abilities to the next level and become a more effective leader and team player.

Testimonials

Our Clients Love the Professional Leadership Institute

Your team will, too! Check out some reviews from our students.
The PLI program was invaluable to our network.
The range of topics delivered, the open dialogue, experience, and examples that PLI brought to each session were outstanding and provided a path for our Franchisees and Managers to look at leadership, coaching, and connecting with their teams in a new light. Many have implemented these strategies in their bakeries and have seen immediate results.
Michelle C.
COBS Bread
Highly recommend to help your team move forward
We have locations around BC and Alberta, so getting people on the same page can be very difficult... Until now. Our entire management team and location managers take the same great courses and then meet monthly online with our coach to apply it to our situation. People are engaged, the courses are excellent, we love our coach, and we are all learning together!
Jason Fawcett
President, Kelson Group
The result has been a transformation of our culture. 
We decided to implement PLI's strategies across the country in over 150 locations and over 3500 employees.  The result has been a transformation of our culture.  People's lives have been positively impacted - professionally and personally.  Morale is high and sales and profits are up as a result.
Daryl Verbeek
Daryl Verbeek
We’ve learned how to fix ongoing personnel issues once and for all
The roadmap laid out set our business up to quintuple in sales.  We've learned how to fix ongoing personnel issues once and for all, attract top talent, and spend our time focused on results, not internal staffing problems.  I highly recommend PLI to you - it's worked for us!
John DeJong
Satisfied Client
I had no idea that running a business could be this fun!
In less than 18 months of working with Trevor, he has transformed my business from being average to exceptional, where mediocrity is not acceptable, where being great is standard.  Working with PLI has allowed me to realize my dream of not simply owning a job, but owning a business.
Justin Bontkes
Principal, Caliber Projects
Our culture has taken major steps forward this year
Our culture has taken major steps forward this year with Trevor’s help.  He is funny, relatable, and his tools are very very practical and have helped us focus and upgrade our teams throughout our retail network. Trevor recently spoke to an employee group, and one person remarked, “I could listen to Trevor all day.”   We would highly recommend Trevor.
Stan Pridham
Founder, KMS Tools
The results have been remarkable
At first, we resisted, “This just won’t work with a law firm.” But we persisted and the results have been remarkable: our client base and profits have steadily improved, and staff engagement and morale is the healthiest its ever been.
Doug Lester
Partner, RDM Lawyers
Helped our fast-growing business become what it is today
I've experienced PLI's approach first hand and it's been crucial to sustaining our growth.  I can't imagine a business that wouldn't benefit greatly from his help.
Brian Antenbring
Founder, TEEMA
Provided practical ways to make positive changes
Trevor was incredibly well-received by the entire organization. He was able to articulate people issues that many of our franchisees were experiencing and provided them with practical ways to make positive changes. We have implemented the Star Chart tool across the organization and see it as vital to building happy, effective teams.
Aaron Gillespie
President, COBS Bread
Scroll to Top

Start Learning Today

For Individuals

Unlock your potential and accelerate your career with sought-after management and leadership skills.

 

Transform Your Organization

For Teams

Book a consultation to discuss your challenges and discover how we can help you build a winning team.

 

Sign Up For Weekly Tips!

Get Weekly Coaching Tips Straight To Your Inbox Every Monday.